Eric Scott Landon, Jr. 10-15-2003 - 11-12-2003

The first time I held you in my arms I also held so much hope:

Hope.

That you and your brother and sister would run through my house and drive me crazy (times three) for the next 18 years or so.

That you and Levi would get to play pranks on everyone to see who could tell you apart.

That you and all of your brothers and sisters could grow up happy and know the love of a large family.

That I would soon learn if yours and Levi's hair was going to stay as red as the fuzz on your heads at birth.

That one day I would be able to hear you speak, see you walk and teach you to ride a bike.

The first time I held you in my arms I also held so much hope... Hope that the doctors were wrong, and that the first time I held you was not also going to be the last...

But it was the last. I held you and had to let you go. I know you're whole now, I know you're watching over us. I hope you know how much I love you. How much I miss you. How much I wish you were here.

I love you Little Eric, my angel in Heven. I love you and miss you so much... One month was just not enough.
Love, Momma

Mom
© erikalandon 2011

Happy 8th Birthday Eric, Vivian and Levi!!

I can't believe it... They're 8 years old!!

8 years ago, when delivery came so fast, when heartrates dropped, as doctors and nurses resuscitaed three little babies, as they were given surfactant and I.V.'s, as they were whisked off the the NICU with the chances of survival so unknown, I didn't know if we would ever make it to this day.

We did, not all of us, mind you. Little Eric took his journey to heaven a month later, but Levi and Vivian continued to grow, thrive, and at times even scare us with random medical needs for the next two months before coming home.

As I sit here today and look at my amazing sleeping kids, I am in awe. I worried so much when they were little about how losing their brother would affect them. I got a pretty good answer while watching Vivian interact with someone the other day.

The person had noticed we were preparing for a birthday, and Levi was in a different part of the store with Megan, so it was only Vivi and I in line. The lady asked if it was someone's birthday.

"yes..." Vivian answers.

"Ohh! How old are you?'...

"We're 8!"

(It's so funny, Levi and Vivian almost never describe themselves as "Me" or "I", unless they are fighting with each other!)

"We?... Are you a twin?"

"Nope. I'm a triplet; it's mine, Eric's and Levi's birthday!"

And that was that. She didn't feel like she needed to explain to this stranger about their rocky start, or about Eric's whole story. She just felt like celebrating the three of their birthdays together.

I try to take my queues from the kids about how to respond to "the twin question" and those queues are getting stronger the older they get.

Although in our house the 15th is significant because it is their birthday, there is also another worldwide significance to this day...

Please take the time to light a candle tonight in rememberance of all the lost angels that went on to heaven too soon.

Many of my friends will be lighting candles today in memory of their children and others as well, and my friend Jessica has asked for comments on her blog so that she, and all of us, can join you in remembering your angels, too!

There are also lots of Pregnancy and Infant loss Memorial services going on all over the country today that people will be joining in and remembering their own and others' angels. I am with you all today as we light our candles and remember.

Visit ZoeRose.org for more information on the 4th Annual Rainbow of Roses Remembrance Event, honoring Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness; a memorial event today as well as others in Atlanta.

So, as our day begins with excitement and joy, I send love up to my little boy whom I cannot hug and say Happy Birthday to this morning...

Happy 8th Birthday to my Triplets...

In Heaven and On Earth!!

Erika
© erikalandon 2010