One day I'd like to write a book...

Really. I'm not an exceptional writer. But I have this story. This story I really feel I should share...

Our triplets were somewhere around the 200th set born in the hopsital they arrived in. So that in itself was nothing *special* (except to us). But the lack of PTL, the surprise birth after Eric's cord prolapsed when he pushed his foot through my cervix, the days, months and weeks following all of that... that is a special story.

A story of joy, sorrow, anxiousness, extreme sorrow and even extreme joy. We have heard so many times how surprised people (even medical professionals) were at different circumstances. Things didn't go "text-book", our kids surprised us at every turn. And they keep doing so to this day.

Eric's life and death taught me many things. I believe that was his mission. And damnit, I wish I had been slower to learn, because maybe that would have made him need to stay with us longer. I have a keyring; a simple silver heart. It is engraved with "Eric Jr., my Hero, my Love" And that summs it up for me. My love, of course...My hero; I firmly believe that if he hadn't shown me what could and would go so wrong I would have lost more than just him in my blind faith of the survival rates of 26 week triplets. We were told that we had passed the *magical* 24th week and chances were 90% that we would bring three healthy babies home a few weeks after birth. Eric taught me to watch even more closely what was going on with his brother and his sister. And I do believe that knowledge saved Vivian's life.

I always offer to support or help anyone that is going through either the loss of a baby, or the premature birth of a baby or babies, I always offer my contact info to groups and hospitals, but I think the best thing I could do is to actually write down our story. I'd like to do it in the format of not only OUR story, but also with other multiple loss mom's stories.

That was what I had wished for when we lost Eric. I wished that I could talk to someone that had been there, but moreso I wished that I could read about people or families that had been there. That would have been the best therapy for me as I sat all those hours in the NICU worried about my survivors...

So maybe one day a book will come to fruition...