Heaven and Earth

We made it almost ten years. This Fathers day would have been 10 years since Eric and I started dating. The house is a bit quieter, yet much more calm.

The calm before the storm?

I'm not sure yet. Levi and Vivian are handling things pretty well. We talked about thinking about it like 'Daddy's on the truck and he'll be home this weekend.' He didn't usually have runs THAT long, usually it was only 3 days, but the idea seems to be working.

Will they get used to him not being home?

Occasionally one of the little one's will ask about daddy. They want to see him. I want them to see him. Levi wonders why Daddy isn't there to play basketball anymore. Yeah - that one breaks my heart a bit...

Will he eventually stop asking that?

The things I worry about pale in comparison to what I worry about for the kids’ sake… I can handle the bills. I can handle the running and always-on-the-go-for-the-kids single parenthood.

Will they think it’s their fault?

I have a couple books on the way. One for them, suggested by a friend who has gone through a divorce with her two young kids. When Dinosaurs Divorce arrives I actually look forward to reading it with the kids. I hope they are able to ask the questions that are on their minds. And when Helping Your Kids Cope with Divorce the Sandcastles Way arrives I hope it will help me find the answers that are on my mind.

Will the books help?

And Megan, she celebrated her 7th birthday the year Eric and I started dating, it was the first birthday she celebrated with him. Next month, when she turns 17, she will celebrate the first birthday in 10 years without her step-dad in the house. She should be excited for Summer to begin. She should be excited for her Senior year of High School. But she’s worried. Worried we’ll have to move. Worried that her little brother and sister are going to go through what her and her older brother went through when their dad and I divorced.

Will I be able effectively ease her fears?

There's lots of questions, lots to take care of, lots to do. But we're resilient, we're strong, we're able...

Divorce just sucks.

Erika
© erikalandon 2010