"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up! Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Today and for the last few weeks has been somewhat the same as it is every year. We get past April 30th, when the IVF implantation procedure of our two embryos was done in 2003. Such good thoughts in my mind surrounding that day. And then just 2 weeks later, the day I went in for the pregnancy test. HCG levels were at a "normal" range and Dr. Stoelk said we could expect a healthy baby. At that time it was believed that one embryo had implanted. Little did we know that day that the boys were in the process of splitting into two little lives and that just two and a half weeks later we would see three strong heartbeats on the ultrasound monitor... Dr. Stoelk and his team at Fertility NW are in my thoughts and prayers daily. I could never thank them enough for the gift he helped our family recieve. The odds were against us when we chose to go ultra-conservative and only implant two embryos; one "excellent" quality, and one "good" quality. I tend to think the excellent quality one was Vivian and the good quality one was the boys, already up to their shenanigans and trying to split. :) The odds against two embryos producing three viable lives were astronomical. And that's what happened.
Sadly, it was only 5 1/2 months into the pregnancy. The day the babies came into this world so unexpectedly is forever etched into my mind. And as I sit here and type this, I hear one of my miracles giggle in his sleep in the next room, and thank God again that they are here with me. I'll never forget waking from the C-section, waking up sure that Little Eric had died during the birth. The last thing I heard as I went under is his heartrate as counted by the nurse: 58bpm. Not nearly fast enough to sustain life. Yet, I was assured by Eric that all three babies were doing fine, and safely in the NICU.
Safely in the NICU for 28 days, that is, until Little Eric's body could no longer handle life outside the womb, and left us for the comfort of Jesus' arms in heaven.
So, again this year, like the last 5, I live the memories of pregnancy, and the wonderful days of feeling all three babies move inside me, and looking in to my three newborns isollettes as they underwent all that had to be done to keep them alive. The memories of the days when there were still three babies to literaly touch. There is sadness intertwined with the joy of those memories. For I know that just one month from now, will be the memory of Nov. 12th. The most horrible day I have ever experienced. The thoughts now are, wow, 6 years ago, there were three babies, and the fervent wish that all three could still be here, causing trouble and playing together.
Sadness mixed with joy. Daily joy to watch my survivors grow, sadness as I wish they could experience life with their brother. Especially Levi, missing his identical twin. Such a special bond should never have been broken. The Fall season brings with it thoughts that I never liked. As the trees turn, the color reminds me of death, not rebirth. I guess it's fitting that this is the season in which we lost Little Eric. Spring will come again soon, though, and we will soon see life renewed... The beautiful flowers and new buds to tell us how special every day is.
The passage from above sums so much up: there is Two are better than one, yet a cord of three is unbreakable. I know that in the passage the meaning of the cord of three is the two with God entwined, but I can't help but notice the last line and seeing many meanings in it...