Happy 8th Birthday Eric, Vivian and Levi!!

I can't believe it... They're 8 years old!!

8 years ago, when delivery came so fast, when heartrates dropped, as doctors and nurses resuscitaed three little babies, as they were given surfactant and I.V.'s, as they were whisked off the the NICU with the chances of survival so unknown, I didn't know if we would ever make it to this day.

We did, not all of us, mind you. Little Eric took his journey to heaven a month later, but Levi and Vivian continued to grow, thrive, and at times even scare us with random medical needs for the next two months before coming home.

As I sit here today and look at my amazing sleeping kids, I am in awe. I worried so much when they were little about how losing their brother would affect them. I got a pretty good answer while watching Vivian interact with someone the other day.

The person had noticed we were preparing for a birthday, and Levi was in a different part of the store with Megan, so it was only Vivi and I in line. The lady asked if it was someone's birthday.

"yes..." Vivian answers.

"Ohh! How old are you?'...

"We're 8!"

(It's so funny, Levi and Vivian almost never describe themselves as "Me" or "I", unless they are fighting with each other!)

"We?... Are you a twin?"

"Nope. I'm a triplet; it's mine, Eric's and Levi's birthday!"

And that was that. She didn't feel like she needed to explain to this stranger about their rocky start, or about Eric's whole story. She just felt like celebrating the three of their birthdays together.

I try to take my queues from the kids about how to respond to "the twin question" and those queues are getting stronger the older they get.

Although in our house the 15th is significant because it is their birthday, there is also another worldwide significance to this day...

Please take the time to light a candle tonight in rememberance of all the lost angels that went on to heaven too soon.

Many of my friends will be lighting candles today in memory of their children and others as well, and my friend Jessica has asked for comments on her blog so that she, and all of us, can join you in remembering your angels, too!

There are also lots of Pregnancy and Infant loss Memorial services going on all over the country today that people will be joining in and remembering their own and others' angels. I am with you all today as we light our candles and remember.

Visit ZoeRose.org for more information on the 4th Annual Rainbow of Roses Remembrance Event, honoring Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness; a memorial event today as well as others in Atlanta.

So, as our day begins with excitement and joy, I send love up to my little boy whom I cannot hug and say Happy Birthday to this morning...

Happy 8th Birthday to my Triplets...

In Heaven and On Earth!!

Erika
© erikalandon 2010

October 15th - so many meanings in my world.

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance day?

The day my triplets were born into this world was not supposed to be October 15th 2003. It was supposed to be January 21st 2004.

They were supposed to cry as they came out, not be whisked away to another room so that breathing apparatus' could be put on them, and surfactant administered so their lungs wouldn't stick together preventing breathing. I was supposed to have a picture of me sitting in a chair holding three feeder-growers in my arms as we readied them to go home, not pictures of three single incubators, three nursing stations, and three babies that once out of my womb, would never be a set of three in any single picture. My identical twin sons were supposed to grow up to play tricks on people that couldn't tell them apart. My daughter was supposed to run to me for comfort as her two same-aged brothers terrorized her while she played dollys.

So, I think it is fitting that their birthday, October 15th, is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberence day. Because we never though that a month after they were born that we would say Goodbye to Little Eric. But we did, and I will never forget those last moments I shared with that little baby that I wanted so badly to be healed and to grow up with his siblings,alongside Levi and Vivian and following Matt and Megan.

So tonight, as I look at the playroom all decked out for a birthday party for two 7 year olds, I am sad beyond explanation, but I am also happy beyond all explanation. So happy to be able to celebrate my youngest kids' birth, and to also celebrate my firstborn triplet's short life.

You are my Hero, Eric Jr. I love you and miss you so very much.

And to my Levi and Vivian: You are also my heros. You have overcome so much and you are thriving. You are amazing, adn I am so honored to be your mommy!!

And we're gonna have an awesome birthday party Saturday!! They've chosen a Halloween dress up party this year, and it's gonna be a ton of fun!

Erika
© erikalandon 2010