Heaven and Earth

Beginning a new year. Hard to even believe.

What a year. I agree with my best friend, I’m ready for this year to be over. I’ve had enough. Quite a ride…

When 2008 started;

My 16 year old son had been out of the house for about 2 months. I was still learning to adjust to that. I was still worrying about him daily, and asking myself “why?” a lot. Thank God he came home this year just before Christmas. It’s amazing to have him home and know he’s safe, and so awesome to see Levi and Vivian play with their big brother again, and yes, to see Megan complain about everything again now that her big brother’s home… Fair is never fair enough, is it?

I was trying fervently to figure out how to make it to Pennsylvania to finally meet Katie and the kids. It took almost a year, but I did it! It was amazing when Levi, Vivian, Megan and I flew there in August. What a treat for my birthday, and the trip to New York was amazing. I could never have imagined so long ago how much Katie’s friendship would end up meaning to me. The kids had a blast meeting their new friends and can’t wait to go back again.

I was still adjusting to my job as dispatcher. I still miss driving trucks. Still to this day. But have moved on to the Washington region and am having a good time. Still enjoying my job, which is half the battle, right?


2008 continues:

Levi started occupational and physical therapy again. He did great, met a lot of goals and worked hard. He loved his therapists, and they both gave us very good ideas of how to work with him at home. He still doesn’t sleep well, wakes up almost every hour, (can’t wait until he can outgrow that, or learn how to handle his own waking) His therapist says it’s like his body gets into REM sleep, but as it cycles out it cannot regain REM until there is other sensory input. We’ll get him evaluated soon for Kindergarten. He may need special services, he may not, but his OT doesn’t want him to fall through the cracks. Neither do I.

Vivian. What a year for her! Growing ever so independent. She wants ultimate control of her world. And her brothers’ world as well. (Yes, she almost has it) So amazing from what we thought her life would be like.

They started preschool this year. Really?? Preschool?? How did this happen?? So fast?? Vivian, my social butterfly, everyone’s friend, and Levi, my sensitive kid. He has made best friends with a boy whose mom passed away when he was younger. The teachers say they seem to have a bond. Levi asks about “his brudder” (Little Eric) and cries for him often.


Speaking of: this year marked 5 years since Eric died. The pain is still as raw some days as it was in 2003. I still wonder. I still look at Levi and Vivian and see an empty spot. I still hate hearing people call them twins. They now speak up, that they are not twins.
That was a moment. Levi made his own decision on whether he and Vivian were twins or not. He is proud to tell people he has a brother in heaven and is a surviving triplet. I quietly let him answer the question, awaiting the knowledge of how he would handle it, as that would determine how we handle the question from here on out. I wondered for 4 years what their answer would be. I almost cried to hear him say it. It was amazing. Vivian is quite the opposite. She could care less to tell people anything, unless it is what toy she wants at that moment.

It was an amazing year, with much more than I was able to remember to put here...

I was happy to end it with all of my children home, all that is, except for the one that never got to come home...