"Mom, I don't have to wash my butt, do I?"

We have a Bassett Hound. His ears are HUGE. He drools ALOT. Once a week he gets a bath with just water, once a month with soap, we don't want to wash out his natural oils, yet his extra skin holds in stench. Spposed to be better for them when they are tracking a scent. Not that I've ever seen Fred track anything except the stray plate not yet placed into the dishwasher. So, back to his ears, yes, HUGE. when he starts shaking his head at night and itching them, it's time to treat for ear mites, just-in-case.
Ok, so Fred's about 60 lbs I think. The big kids were out and about pretty much all weekend for the long wekend, in to raid the kitchen and back out again for the most part... That leaves me (nope, not tellin my weight) and two 40 lb (+/-) 6 year olds. And Fred has been itching. It's time.

"Levi and Vivian, come here, you need to help Mamma hold Fred down..." "What?" they say. "Yep, just come here". So the conversation about what we're about to do and why ensues. They understand. Good. Let's do it.
We are all on the floor in the playroom. Fred's pretty strong. Very docile, but strong. "Vivian, you hold down his hind legs." Confused look. I get ahold of his front legs and manuever him to one side. Vivian sits on his hind quarters. One of my cross-legged feet is over his muzzle, and Levi is helping control his front legs and head. What a sight. Should have taped it, it must've looked hillarious. But we did it. Fred is no worse for the wear.
"Ok, go wash your hands." In unison..."why?" "Because we just put medicine in Fred's ears and we should always wash after handling the dog or cats that closely and after giving them medicine." Levi trotts to the bathroom. Vivian hesitates.

By now my hands are washed and I'm moving on to the next chore.

"Mom, I don't have to wash my butt, do I?"

Are you as confused as I was?
Oh yeah... she SAT on Fred's hind quarters to hold him down.

HeHeHeHe!! "No, Sissy. You don't have to wash your butt."

Out of the mouths of babes...

© erikalandon2010

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