11.15.2008

Things change, life goes on, and we learn a new normal.

I went to pick Megan up from her friends house on eday this week after school. She comes boppin out of the house with balloons and a rose. "Who sent you those?"

And BTW, can I tell you how happy I was for her? As mom, to see her growing up, being treated nicely by boys, just being able to grow and be a girl and have some fun...
So she says (sheepishly) "not my boyfriend." Way to go Megan!! She is one beautiful girl. What an amazingly fun time for her. First year of highschool, being allowed to finally have a boyfriend. (no, i'm not kidding myself. I know she had boyfriends before now, but she wasn't "allowed" so they were strictly school boyfriends...sneaking kisses in the hallways etc.)

Levi and Vivian are no longer sharing a room. Vivian has blossomed. Loves her own space, her own things, the ability to close the door and let everyone know to leave her alone.
The differences that I have read about fraternal twins versus identical twins is showing so true. Vivian, the fraternal part of our set, is so ready and able to be on her own. she relies on no one...
Levi relies on his sister for so much. I can only imagine how close him and Eric would have been. His first thought upon waking is "Where's Vivan?" (he drops the second i when saying her name) He wants so badly always to play with her or even just next to her. Begs to play in her room when she wants nothing more than to just be alone. My minds eye plays over and over what it would be like to see him and Little Eric playing together. Two little boys who would have been so alike, yet I am sure just as different. To see two little red headed boys chase eachother down the stairs...

New normal. This is constantly changing. Vivian asks frequently if Eric is in her heart, too. 'Of course baby, he is always with us in our hearts.'Levi is adamant that he is NOT a twin. He is a surviving triplet. With a look on his face that says. "duh. why would anyone think anything else?." The What-ifs do no good. maybe more harm than anything, even. I can't change what happened. I so fervently wish I could, but I can't. No magic words, no granted wishes.

This year we've been asked to be Washington State ambassadors for the March Of Dimes. I think this is an amazing honor. To be able to help raise money to fight premature births while also helping people understand prematurity can end so well... my two amazingly healthy 5 year olds, but also so badly..my angel in heaven.



Hopefully I can raise money and get more people to walk with us this year. Last year my friend Matt (driver from our Rockwood Yard) walked with us, I'll talk him into it again, and I am hoping more people will too. My sister and her clan, Eric's mom, maybe even my mom...

Fundraising is a challenge for me. Even with something I feel so strongly about, it is hard for me to ask people for money...

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