Birthdays. Not such a big deal in my world, unless they are the kids' days... i just don't get too excited much about them.
I worked like usual, and Eric brought the kids by on their way home from vacation to bring me presents. Megan was so cute, she got me a card about how much i need asprin while dealing with a kid like her, and a bottle of asprin! :)
Eric got me a pendant of Orcas island. It's very pretty.
I stopped by to visit Little Eric on the way home, took him some flowers and a card and left a message for him at his grave.
It's odd the way life has changed. I am amazed and so proud of all of my living children. They have each in their own achieved many things that i never dreamed each would at some point in their lives. But days like Mothers day and my birthday will never be the same. There is always only one gift i could ever wish for and it will always be out of my reach... it's not one that could be given or bought.
I will always long to hold Little Eric in my arms. The memory of his eyes looking up at me from his isolette that night before he died is forever etched in my minds eye. The wish that his body could have been healed will never go away. As much as i am thrilled and amazed at how well Levi and Vivian are doing, as proud as i am of Matt and Megan, as satisfied as i am at how life has otherwise turned out; i would give any worldly comfort to have my son back.
I miss you Little Eric...