The age-old Multiples debate...
School days... To separate or not...
I've wrestled with this question since finding out we were going to be mommy and daddy to triplets. From the start I was of one thought: We would not label our kids as "the triplets" or let others do the same.
Then, when Eric passed i began to wonder what effect this would have on Vivian, but even moreso what effect this would have on his identical companion, Levi. I read what I could. I was lucky to have a friend that was able to send me a book from the UK, the only one I have ever found about twin loss and the effects of such.
I read and devoured all i could handle. I have yet to finish it.
But there's always one question. What difference in the twin loss spectrum does it make to have a twin loss in a triplet set? As the research written in the book states, identical twins have a stronger than normal bond. We do see that, and as i have told others, it seems that Vivian could care less if her brother is even in the same state as her where Levi is concerned and upset if his sister is not in the same room as him.
So. My surviving triplets are headed off to school. Our district splits up twins as a rule. I went to bat. Vivian would be ok, Levi, not so much. Sensory issues, lone identical twin, minor physical limitations; all told it would be way too much to throw him into a new environment and tear his sister from him.
The school was not immediately accomodating. It was way out of the norm, and even worried the teachers that it would disrupt class to have "twins" together.
We started with the assertation that our kids are not twins, please do not label them anything other than Levi and Vivian. I talked about Levi's issues and how beneficial it would be for him to start this new chapter with his sister close to his side. Their pre-school teacher called and talked to Levi and Vivian's principle, i think that helped greatly to alleviate her concern.
So today we took Levi and Vivian for their first day assesment with their kindergarten teacher. They will have the same teacher. Thank you God.
Posted by Erika Stearns